Have you seen this man?
He makes me crazy.
He makes all of us crazy. Some crazy enough the bay at the moon. Some to bay at the Fake News Media. Me, he makes me crazy enough to collage. I cannot help myself. Like eating peanuts at one of his circuses. It is a compulsion.
At first it seemed like a harmless vice. A shot here, a shot there. I could stop whenever I wanted.
I imagined him going head to head with the worst of my life’s presidents. Nixon and LBJ basked in the heat of napalm. But he…he lights a fire in the worst of us that burns hotter and more intensely than anything LBJ or Nixon laid down in ‘Nam.
He is there to protect us.
And incite us.
He is our first Fake News President. And he’s ok with that.
So long as the news is all about him.
And all eyes are on him.
And on him
He understands that we are Fossil Fuel Man. And that all of those New Age hippies who want to run their cars on vegetable oil and power their homes with wind hate America.
He abhors socialism. Except for the right kind of socialism.
Oh, there are the naysayers. The detractors. The but-what-about-ers. But with cheap gas who cares?
Because he brings the circus. He is the circus. He is every one of the thousand clowns. The ringmaster. P.T. Barnum was an amateur by comparison. “Come see the elephant,” he whispers. And we must. We must.
He could sell ice water in Hell. He serves up his revenge cold. “Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia,” he shouts. And we all look around for this Al guy.
And we think, don’t we have enough drama in our lives? Clearly, we do not.
He will give us Iran gift wrapped. He will deliver North Korea with a big red bow. He has it on good authority that Putin is a good guy. Venezuela is toast. China will surrender. Tariffs go well with a nice claret.
Oh, and about that special relationship? Right after Boris and just before Brexit is the sweet spot.
He is for America. So long as he is America.
Did I mention he loves war, the flag and patriotism? And fast food and apple pie.
Rain on his parade? Never happen. He is the parade.
He tells us ten impossible things before breakfast. Never mind those other story tellers. Fake narrative.
Some of his stories are dark, ugly and outlandish. Because he “tells it like it is.” Or at least like some of us secretly wish it to be.
He says “follow me.” And some of us do.
Talk about a special relationship. What can possibly go wrong?
We are mad at him. We are mad for him. We are mad about him. We are mad.
What, us worry?