Pity poor Hester Prynne. Censored by her Puritan community for having a child out of wedlock she was forced to wear a scarlet A, so that all would know of her mortal sin wherever she went.
But really, sexual promiscuity is so passé in this day and age. Everybody does it, right?
No, the real promiscuous behavior – the nearest thing to original sin in autoAmerica – isn’t performed between the sheets, but rather on top of the asphalt.
The new promiscuity is committed every day by miscreants who refuse to insert themselves into two-ton steel cocoons, like normal people, before using the public streets.
Instead they insist on inserting themselves, sans cocoons, between the unobstructed road ahead and the God-given right of American motorists to drive as fast as they please wherever they please.
Slow down hell! Freedom of movement is an American birthright and not to be surrendered lightly.
Until some reckless pedestrian or renegade cyclist gets in the way. And then pity the poor motorist who has to live with that.
Thus the new scarlet letter. Interfere with the fast flow of traffic is you must. If you dare. But at least, for the love of Ford, brand yourself with neon red flags.
Or fluorescent yellow vests. Or something else reflective to warn innocent drivers that you intend to rudely interrupt their freedom of movement.
It is only in hunting that the predators wear bright orange and the game goes unadorned. But that’s just because they can’t figure out how to make a deer wear a vest.
But there is a war being waged against cars in autoAmerica. Everybody says so. At the very least the anti-auto insurgents should be made to identify themselves.
Really, there ought to be a law. We could call it the Yellow Flag Law. Branded for life.
And when will these people learn to just stay out of our way? Haven’t we drivers suffered enough?
Or maybe the prey aren’t the problem. Maybe it really is the hunters.
Perhaps it is because, as a mobile society, we stubbornly refuse to design our communities and public streets to protect life rather than facilitate speed.
Instead of this.
We could do this.
And we could reverse this deadly trend.
By slowing cars down. Because we know that speed kills.
And we know how to do it.
We simply lack the will to do it. No matter the consequences.
Hence the new scarlet letter. Something to scare or shame the miscreants so they might stay out of our way.
But be warned, autoAmerica. France’s yellow vest law set the stage for a revolution. It could happen here.
Viva la revolution.