I dunno. Maybe it was the ridiculous Springs County mafia that got my back up.
Or the Trumpets in all their majestic outrage. “We didn’t lose! We won! Losers!
Or the way our slick suburban legislators pretend to represent us while going out of their way to stick it to all things Gainesville.
Listen, our backs are up against the wall, Gainesville. Keith and Chuck hate us. The John Birchers want us gone. the Governor wouldn’t even give us the vaccine if he had his druthers.
We couldn’t get a sympathetic ear if we went full press Van Gogh. Heck, we’re the People’s Republic of Gainesville so far as Red Florida is concerned.
Plus, I remember what another visionary said when he was up to his keister in ravenous gnats.
“Now, we could fight ‘em with conventional weapons. That could take years and cost millions of lives.
“Oh, no. No, in this case, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part.”
And not to forget what his intellectual aide de camp contributed:
“Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!”
So, yeah, let’s tilt windmills. Let’s carpet bomb the enemy with tons of futility.
It’s not like Keith and Chuck have a discernible sense of humor. So we’ve already got ‘em surrounded, outgunned and…um…outwitted.
Heck, with all the craziness out there in the Heartland, it’s a good bet we could declare ourselves a city-state and no one would even notice.
No, we won’t back down. Even if they stand us up in the gates of hell.
We’ll keep this bunch from draggin’ us down.
Hey, baby, we know there ain’t no easy way out.
In a world that keeps pushing us around.
We won’t back down!
I think somebody from around here said that. But I can’t remember who it was.
Anyway, what’s the point of being acquitted if we can’t have a little fun ridiculing the establishment?
When you come down to it, we’ve got as good a chance of making GNV an Independent City as the troglodytes have of getting Springs County. Better even.
Because we are dogged in our determination. How many national championships has High Springs brought home?
We have nothing to lose but our innocence.
Oh, and one more point: