Regrets, I’ve had a few…

I’ve always made my living by stringing words together. But I also have a healthy respect, and a green, green envy, for people who string their words together better than I. So this post comes by way of a concession.

Actually, this isn’t even my favorite Dorothy Parker quote. That occurred after her editor found her in a bar instead of at the office meeting deadline. When asked why she wasn’t at work, Dorothy said, famously, “Someone else was using the pencil.”

Seriously, can we even call it poetry if it doesn’t rhyme? Also, Nash once wrote a play about the statue of a Greek goddess who came to life in Manhattan. So he’s aces with me.

I just came across this quote while watching “The Revolutionists” at the Hippodrome. Now I can’t sleep nights worrying that Gunderson just might be wrong. After all, it didn’t end well for her writer either.

Listen, I’ve gotten the Goodbye Look from experts – politicians and bureaucrats, ex-girlfriends and offspring, landlords and bankers…used car salesmen even. Knowing when it’s time to make yourself scarce is key to a successful life.

You may be right, I may be crazy (another great quote, thanks much, Billy). But I refuse to engage in pointless arguments with people who simply can’t see the impeccable logic in my sterling writings. Four simple words suffice.

Not only that, but I want everybody to stop using plastic, think peace-love thoughts, embrace whirled peas and acknowledge at least once before I die that Ron Cunningham was right.

With apologies to both Douglas Adams and Rudyard Kipling. What do Brits know anyway?

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